Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Josh's Corner: Madden misses the mark

Friend and former CortSide colleague Josh Garcia is back with a commentary on this year's Madden title.

You know I'm growing up when I get Madden as a birthday present and I've only got to play it a handful of times. That's due to work related stuff and the fact that I live with girls and they don't really enjoy watching me play. Yeah, I don't know why either, because in this Madden you can turn back time, no Dr. Brown or Delorean needed. All you need to do is press a little button and eruh errrrr, time travel. What will Madden come up with next? I would say something clever or smart alec-ish but really what is cooler than time travel?

Now that I got the cool things out of the way, my problems with this game are numerous. So I sit down to start a franchise because, let's face it, who doesn't want to be in charge of their own team? Mine being the Cowboys, I was looking forward to it. My first quibble... no Adam "Pacman" Jones. He's not on the Cowboys roster. No worries. I just have to trade for him from the Titans. It's cool, I'm looking to get rid of Terry Glenn.

Wait a minute, where is he? Maybe a free agent? Nope, he's not in the game! I know what you're thinking, quit being lazy and just make him, Josh. Well I don't like doing that because I tend to make players way better than they are. I'm too generous with the 99's.

Okay, to my second gripe. The graphics and before game introduction are amazing. I hear John Madden welcome me to the stadium I'm playing at, but then he says something that makes me do a "whaaa did he just say". We take you to some guy I don't know and Cris Collinsworth? They are going to be announcing my Madden game? Where are John and Al? You mean to tell me I've got to listen to Collinsworth's smug commentary and when I throw a pick I have to have Crissy tell me where I should have thrown it. Its called instant replay, Cris, I don't need you.

So let me get this straight. The game I'm playing is Madden 09? Yup, Favre is on the cover and that's what it says on the disc, I even checked twice. But Cris Collinsworth is calling the games with some chump. Do I at least get John and Al for the super bowl? We'll wait and see. But the straw that broke the camels back was when I was playing the other night.

I get home from work early, which is rare, so I have the TV to myself. Pop in Madden and I get the system update window. This takes a minute and I'm thinking, "maybe they are adding Pacman to my team." So I get into playing and Madden welcomes me to Texas stadium but the coin toss is sponsored by Eagle Eye. I think, "that's weird movies are advertising through Madden." No big deal, I'll just keep playing.

So my first drive, I throw to Matt Jones who I had to trade for because I lost T.O. for the whole season on some bogus injury that he would never get because he is unstoppable. (Yeah, point out the irony of me picking up another player who is trouble with the law, but Matt Jones is a great Madden pickup, and it kind of makes up for my team not having the resident bad boy Pacman. I've got even it out somehow!) So the little graphic pops up, "Matt Jones - 1 catch for 13 yards," and guess who's there....Eagle Eye. Shia get off my Madden!!!! The whole game goes like this. Every little stupid statistical update which I used to like now has my team emblem and EAGLE F'n EYE. Really???

Madden sold out and now advertises movies that are going to come out. That's where we went to John. You can't even announce my game now or point out the obvious about what my team is doing right.

Geez, I would keep venting but I've got to head out. Eagle Eye is playing at 10:45pm at the AMC down the street and I really want to see it now.

No comments: